The Truth You Don't Want to Hear

Hi. My name is Asen Arolski and I'm a dog trainer. I've spent 21 years working with dogs that people call "problematic."

And before you start reading this book, I want to tell you something very important: your dog is not the problem. You are the problem.

I know you don't want to hear that. Nobody does. Everyone comes to me and says: "My dog doesn't listen to me," "My dog is aggressive," "My dog can't learn." Lies. All of these are lies you tell yourself to feel better.

Over twenty-one years I've seen tens of thousands of dogs and their owners. I've developed a system of 16 psychotypes that reveals the truth with over 95% accuracy: every dog is exactly what its owner has made it.

Every reaction, every behavior, every "problematic" trait - all of it is a reflection of you. Your fears, your weaknesses, your inability to be a leader.

This book is not about how to "train" your dog. This book is about how to train yourself.

Why Dogs Are Our Most Honest Mirror

Last week a man came to see me - I'll call him Orlin. A successful entrepreneur, several business ventures, good turnover, everything in his life running smoothly. But his dog - a poodle named Vron - is a nightmare. Anxious, overexcited, disobedient.

"I don't understand," he says. "Everything usually works out for me, but with the dog... complete chaos!"

I observed them for 15 minutes. I watched Orlin try to give Vron a command, but there were no rules whatsoever. Today one way, tomorrow another. Today something is forbidden, tomorrow it's allowed. The dog jumps on him - he laughs. Five minutes later, the same jumping - he gets angry. Vron is in constant confusion about what's expected of him.

"Orlin," I said, "do you have rules in your business?"

"Of course! Without them, there are no results."

"And at home?"

Silence.

"At home I want to rest."

You see? Dogs cannot lie. They see who you really are, not who you pretend to be. Orlin was exhausted from the constant discipline at work. At home he wanted "freedom" - but what that really was, was irresponsibility.

Vron wasn't a bad dog. He simply lived in a world without rules - and that made him anxious and chaotic. Because without structure, there is no security.

The Science Behind the Mirror

When you're stressed, your dog senses it and releases the same stress hormone - cortisol. When you look into each other's eyes, you both release oxytocin - the happiness hormone, the same one released between mother and child.

This means your dog literally senses your emotional state. It knows when you're lying, when you're afraid, when you're unsure. And it reacts accordingly.

1. If you're an anxious person, your dog will become either overprotective or aggressive - because it will try to "defend" you from the threats it senses in you.

2. If you're irresponsible, your dog will take over the leadership - and become "uncontrollable," because someone has to make the decisions.

3. If you're emotionally unstable, your dog will become hyperactive or destructive - because it doesn't know what to expect from you...